#GuyFriends

Well … I got told! Put in my place. Mildly reprimanded. Yes, I was wrong and now I’m here to make amends.  I recently wrote about girlfriends. My soul sisters and the importance of good friendships.  What I neglected to mention was the importance of male friends. Some of mine are just as close as my girlfriends. So yes, the fact that I didn’t mention my soul brothers is an egregious error on my part.  I apologize to them all.

My guy friends are both younger and older. Married, single, straight, and gay. They each serve a different purpose, and like girlfriends, bring out different parts of my personality. They were part of a package deal when I got married, so my husband has learned to not only live with them … but love them as much as I do.

Before I met my husband, my guy friends were my handy men, heavy lifters, big bear huggers, motivators, and protectors. They helped me move, do yard work, pick out pets, and change smoke detectors. They also gave advice, and more often than not – some serious reality checks. Men tend not to coat their comments in sweetness like women, and sometimes that blunt honesty is just what you need.

Now, as I get older, my guy friends are my political dumping ground (I miss you Ronald), my sounding boards on child rearing (‘cause many of them are so much older!), and as it turns out … champions for my hubby. Usually part of a joke – but they’re quick to side with him on everything.

Many take a pass on guy friends, worried that any normal guy couldn’t possibility be interested in just friendship. “They must want something more”, I’ve been told.

First, check that ego please! Second, if you’re not looking for trouble, you likely won’t find it.  When you look at one another as friends, two people that only want happiness for each other – you’ll spend a lifetime making sure that’s just what happens.

At the risk of offending women everywhere – guys tend to be less dramatic. Even my daughter has this figured out, and she’s only six.  As soon as she entered school, she found a few close girlfriends, but gravitated to the rough, messy, uncomplicated play of the boys in her class. Running around and growling like a dinosaur seemed easier than getting caught up in the girl drama. Anyone with a daughter in school, knows what I’m talking about. As luck would have it, her first grade class is made up mostly of girls. Even though her best girlfriends are part of the class, she can’t wait to get home at day’s end to play with the neighbourhood boys.  They treat her as equals which has given her confidence and some good old-fashioned street smarts.

I hope she keeps her guy friends throughout life. They’ll be the ones to protect her when she starts to venture out on her own.  In my mind, parties and bars seem like safer places with her buddies on watch. I’ll bet she’s less likely to get slipped something inappropriate or hit on by a thug, if a few of her male friends are standing guard. I’m also fairly certain that her guy friends will be the first to drag her home if it turns out that she’s the one behaving badly. Which, by the way, is a distinct possibility.

And then, when life isn’t so perfect, hearing that you’re ‘fabulous’ will mean just a teeny bit more than the same comment from a gal pal. I hope she has that.

Having both male and female friends teaches us a lot about ourselves and how to behave socially and at home. Despite what our dads would like – the world isn’t all female. We’re going to encounter men wherever we go, so we might as well have a close look at how to deal with them. So, to all my guy friends, particularly the one that shares a place at the counter, and is always invited to girls’ night … thank you, and yes I know … you’re always right.

…dedicated to my favourite #guyfriend – Doug Topliffe. I miss you bud.