50 is the new 50

Until a friend brought it up – blogging about turning 50 really hadn’t occurred to me. After all, it’s just another birthday.

But if I’m being honest, I think the real reason for my indifference – was that while reaching this milestone birthday (that I wasn’t sure would happen) – I also lost one of my dearest friends.

I now belong to an army of gals who consider this dear friend an angel. In my case, forever to be sitting on my shoulder while slapping me on the head and cheering me on. Why should her afterlife be any different from her physical life?

This larger- than-life human was always reminding me that I worried too much- about too many people, I was too anxious, too sensitive and, ugh – I wasn’t careful about my health. “Be kind to yourself” was her mantra with me. As I write, I feel her hovering over me telling me to snap out of my sadness – not to waste a single minute of life.

The girl that ‘kept dancing’ would be so disappointed with how stuck I am. Always with a giant smile on her face, she’d tease me for wallowing in it all. In my mind she’s shaking her head and laughing.

As a cancer survivor (I always feel ridiculous saying that word ‘survivor’. Worried cancer will come back just because I got over confident. Yes- I can feel her slapping me now), I’m aware how precious my days are – how blessed I am just to be standing/sitting here.

So, I really don’t have anything interesting or amusing to blog about turning 50.

I won’t dare grumble about the aches and pains, or the wrinkles and grey hair – I know I’m lucky to have them.

The only thing I can complain about (without fear of angelic retribution) is the loss that comes with growing old.

Cherish the people you love while you have them.

I miss you sister-wife. Please stop hitting me so damn hard?

#keepdancing #50isthenew50 #50isagift