MIV Unsolicited Advice: Weddings
I’m no Elizabeth Taylor, but with two weddings under my belt, I consider myself a bit of marriage aficionado. I’ve been the bride at a ‘big fat’ wedding AND a cozy, casual wedding – plus, I’ve attended more ceremonies than I care to count. Which (says my inside voice) – gives me full license to dole out my unsolicited advice on weddings. If your fairytale wedding deposits are nonrefundable – you may want to stop reading now.
1. Within 48 hours after your wedding – no one will remember or care about your dress. Furthermore, no matter how fabulous it is, you’ll make fun of it in 20 years. Save your money and choose something comfortable that makes you happy. If it costs you a fortune to feel beautiful, your money is better spent on therapy.
2. Don’t control everything (I’m picturing my gf’s spitting out their chardonnay). Sure, I am the queen of control freaks – but even I can admit that it’s not possible to enjoy your day if you’re micromanaging every detail. Pick the things that are most important to you – then hand over the rest to anxious moms, MILs and BFFS. Think about it – if your guests care what your cake looks like, or how nice your party favour is – they shouldn’t be on the list. Farm out that stuff to people who will obsess over it for you.
3. Speaking of guest lists – make one the minute you get engaged. Revisit it monthly until you send out the invites. If you haven’t heard from or seen them since you first wrote their name – cross them off. Trust me when I tell you that 80% (yes, random number) of the people at your wedding won’t be in your life in ten years. Choose wisely and spend your wedding budget on people who truly love you.
4. More on guests – choose people who have supported you as a couple. There’s always the exception (distance and feuding families being the top two) – but if they haven’t seen you and your fiancé together, they likely won’t care if they’re not included. If the past is any indication – you’ll never see them anyway, so why sweat it?
5. Food doesn’t need to be lavish – it just needs to be good. If a guest’s most memorable moment of your wedding is the ceviche push-pop (yes – a thing), then your wedding was a bore.
6. Don’t spend too much time thinking about what anyone else will wear. This includes bridesmaids, ushers, in-laws, moms and guests. The bride and groom are all that matter on the big day. The others appear in so few photos; it’s not worth the stress. Just let Sally look awkward in the dress she likes – no one will notice.
7. Not everyone wants to go to your wedding. Ouch, right? Unless people LOVE you, they kinda prefer not to buy a new dress, put on fancy shoes, stay up past 10pm, hand over their hard earned money, stay up past 10pm, or stay up past 10pm. People won’t be as offended as you think. I can’t say it enough – choose people who love you.
Note – I will stay up past 10pm for you @sammartin. I better be on your freakin’ list.
8. Finally – YOUR happiness – is what people will remember most.
Trust me – a miserable, stressed couple will outshine any ice luge, three-tiered statement cake, or slider bar. Everything is about atmosphere. How people FEEL – music, ambiance, warmth, happiness. A couple that is in love, loving their moment, and having a blast will magically pass on their joy to everyone around them. For real.
What you’ll want your guests to remember most – is you (and in a good way, not the awkwardly rehearsed first dance kinda way).
I’m not the only nuptial know it all. Feel free chime in with your own words of wisdom – somewhere out there is a bride in need of your unsolicited advice! #MIV #MyInsideVoice #Weddings #Bridezilla #SavetheBrides